Theorems of Kitteh Affection

After a long weekend of living in our closet to avoid close encounters with the houseguests, the kittehs were still wary on Monday as they patrolled about the house. As I sat in the loft writing, Sebastian cautiously crept up the stairs, every whisker at attention and ears pricked for any sound from enemy territory. Finally he was satisfied that I was the only inhabitant of the upstairs and came over to curl up with me in my chair, recovering some small portion of the cuddling losses incurred over the weekend while I was distracted with guests. 

A few moments later, I saw Belle's ears, eyes, and then nose gradually appear as she also ascended the stairs in Full Reconnaissance mode. She stalked the perimeter with wide eyes to see if any humans under the age of ten would suddenly come bursting out to love her against her will. After the all clear, she also made herself at home on whatever lap real estate not already monopolized by Sebastian. This is unusual--they very rarely share territory, so I must think that this is in response to the weekend of houseguests.

I've found that the interest rates on repayment of kitteh cuddling can be very steep, depending on various factors. No one really knows how they calculate how much you owe them, but I'm working out a theorem and am planning a round table discussion very soon. 

For the average weekend we are out of town, we have to include in our calculations not only lost hours of direct affection, but also lost hours of nearness (i.e. bedtime or watching television time). The rate of return on this affection loan of sorts is complicated by a factor of intensity (ranging from lower-intensity cuddling over a longer period under normal circumstances all the way to excessive neediness and obnoxious affection particularly prevalent when the human is trying to read a book or trying to type). 

There is also a positive correllation between the number of houseguests over a weekend and the intensity of expected  repayment following said weekend.  Furthermore, an exponent may be derived directly from the number of houseguests under the age of ten.

So far the equation is somewhat messy, so my theorem is best described visually:

A Note on Verbal Stickers

I think most of us use common phrases to express our delight to our friends when they have good things to share about their lives. We say "Oh, that's wonderful news!" or "Good for you!" and maybe even "Awesome!" but some of us go even further, into the world of verbal stickers. Just like back in First Grade when we rocked the penmanship world with our perfectly-formed Q's, and we got that yellow shooting star sticker as a reward. 

Denise telling me "That's Super!" just now was maybe the shiniest verbal sticker I have ever received.